Why Is Romance So Important In Marriage?

When you think about romance in your marriage, what comes to mind? Does it bring to mind sweet and positive feelings towards your spouse?  Or was your first thought, "What romance?"  Unfortunately some couples find it hard to dedicate time for romance.  With busy schedules, children and careers, romance manages to get knocked out of the way on a regular basis.  However, what I find interesting is how something that brings so much pleasure and satisfaction can be ignored by married couples.  

Is it because some couples look at being romantic a difficult task? Honestly, it doesn't have to be difficult at all.  The thing about romance is that there are no specific guidelines when it comes to being romantic in marriage.  There are no specific "rules" to romance.  When both parties understand what the other perceives as romantic, then it's easier to plan moments of romance that both parties can truly appreciate.  

So, what is romance?  I define it as:

Recognizing Opportunities & Maintaining Affections Necessary for Creating Ever-lasting love.  

Recognizing Opportunities

Taking the time to recognize opportunities for romance helps nurture your relationship and creates strong bonds within marriage.  Always actively looking for ways to r.o.m.a.n.c.e. your spouse puts you in a state of mind that allows you too see love everywhere.  For example if the power went out due to a bad storm, one couple would see this as a great opportunity for some intimate fun.  Another couple may only see the inconveniences of the lights being out.  What couple are you and your spouse? 

Maintaining Affections

One of the most important things that helps build a happy and loving marriage is the affection that is shared between the two.  Affection makes the both of you feel loved and secure and it shows that you are both there for each other.  Just imagine what a marriage is without the presence of affection.  Actually we don't need to imagine, we see it every day around us...its called Divorce.

Creating Ever-lasting Love

How is ever-lasting love created?  That's a question that I asked myself almost 19 years ago when I married my husband.   And every day I went seeking the answer to this question.  You know what I've found?  I found that there is no one answer to creating everlasting love. What I do know is that a romantic marriage can only come to be if both husband and wife are 100% committed every day to the marriage journey.  The biggest contributor that I have found to active romance in marriage is good communication.  Yes, good communication.  When couples are talking with each other often and listening to the desires of each other it makes romantic moments more possible. 

With knowledge comes understanding, especially in marriage.
— Brela Delahoussaye

Being married has taught me that romance is not always about sex but it is always about love.  Romance is needed every day in marriage and not just on special occasions.   I strongly believe that romance should be a breathing entity within marriage that receives daily nourishment from husband and wife.

So how do turn up the romance in marriage?  What I have found is that it's not really about huge grand gestures but it's more about the every day small actions.  Those small but significant actions are:

  1. being honest with each other
  2. communicating often
  3. having fun together
  4. encouraging each other
  5. avoiding negative thoughts.  

When these things happen, its easier for romance to flourish in a healthy and natural manner within marriage.  So, today I encourage you and your spouse to engage in moments that will increase romance in your marriage.  Remember, it's not about any specific rules that you have to follow, just go with your heart and don't forget to have fun!