What Keeps Long Term Married Couples Sexually Satisfied?

Sex.  Making love.  Getting it on.  Whatever you want to call it, in marriage it's an absolutely beautiful expression of love between two.  It's a time for connection and pleasure.  It's a time to express love in a physical way with your spouse.  It's a time for true sexual fulfillment.  EVERY TIME.  In a study titled, The Components of Optimal Sexuality:  A Portrait of Great Sex,  suggest that true sexual fulfillment has far less to do with positions or techniques and more to do with true intimacy and a deeply rooted connection.  

Unfortunately, popular culture tells people that great sex is about varying your routines, trying new positions, buying new sex toys. All you have to do is stand in any line at any check-out counter and you see magazines that are blaring these headlines — “We have the secret!”
— Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz

So what are these couples doing to maintain high satisfaction in the bedroom?

#1 / They stay Fully Engaged 

Resisting auto pilot, when it comes to sex,  is what these couples do. They are able to let go completely and fully focus on the moment, which in turn it makes for better sex satisfaction.  It has the ability to increase feelings of desire and allows for more focus on giving and receiving pleasure.  So, if you find that you tend to mind wander when you are naked with your spouse, consider some tips on mindfulness.  

#2 / They Communicate effectively with each other 

Now this is a big piece to the puzzle of ultimate satisfaction in the marriage bed.  Married couples that get the most out of their sexual encounters with their spouses know it's important to be able to convey their inner thoughts, dreams and desires to each other.  

They feel comfortable speaking freely not only in the bedroom but outside the bedroom as well.  Communicating on a healthy and active level in marriage encourages deeper intimacy and deeper connections which in turn creates better love-making. No doubt about it, intimacy begins with conversation.  

#3 / They have Sexual Confidence

Big One! This one has a huge affect on sexual satisfaction!  Sexually confident couples feel good about themselves, especially when the clothes come off.  They know they are bringing their "A" game when it comes to sexually pleasing their spouse.  Without sexual confidence from both husband and wife, fabulous sex is hard to be a forgone conclusion. It's important that both partners of marriage feel desirable and both partners feel like they bring value to the sexual encounters they have.  When these feelings are not present, it can hinder the emotional and physical satisfaction of coming together with your spouse.  

Fabulous sex is more of a result of a happy and successful marriage, than the cause of one.
— Romance Me

#4 / They Are Vulnerable With Each Other

When couples have strong trust in their marriage, it allows for them to be vulnerable with each other.  Being vulnerable is something that most of us instinctively push back on.  A type of self preservation.  After all, It's one thing to be naked in the physical sense, but being naked psychologically is something entirely different.

However, when couples can fully trust each other, being vulnerable with each other becomes second nature.  Trust is also another component to marriage that has a direct effect on the intimacy achieved.  More trust can lead to better intimacy in marriage.  

#5 / They Have Fun In & Out Of The Bedroom

The sexually satisfied couples enjoy having sex in the bedroom and out.  The kitchen is another great idea too.   Foreplay is not always the same and neither are the sex positions.  This prevents stagnation from setting in and it encourages more sex between the two.  In and out of the bedroom, these couples enjoy having fun together.  They have a comfort level with each other that encourages true friendship and trust in their marriage.  This in turn, helps to create deeper intimacy levels within marriage.  

#6 / They Enjoy Touching & Pleasuring Each Other

The sexually satisfied couple believes in pleasure for both, no one-sided pleasure in these marriages.  Both parties participate in bringing the other as much pleasure as they can.  Foreplay is a huge deal for these couples and they enjoy it to the fullest.  Every chance these couples get, they are touching their spouse.  Holding hands, kissing and cuddling are just a few ways they make it happen.  These touches not only bring comfort but it also has the ability to create sexual anticipation for both parties. 

#7 / They Believe In Self-Care

I am hear to tell you that it is a myth to think that once you get married you don't have to work as hard to keep yourself looking good. All Lies!  Now I know that we all gain a little weight here and there but when the pounds start to increase excessively, action is needed.  These couples understand this concept and do what they can to keep themselves looking their best.  

They understand that each others self care is a necessity and that it should not be ignored.  They understand that "me" time is a way for their spouse to recharge and to focus solely on themselves.  They don't see this as a threat to their relationship but as a benefit to their marriage.