Don't Believe These Myths About Romance in Marriage

Romance, a fascination throughout times, has it's own share of myths and realities.  Myths, that over time, have become well known with people, including married couples.  These myths can unfortunately produce assumptions about romance that are not true.  Assumptions that prevents married couples from experiencing the kind of happy and healthy relationships they deserve.  Take me for example.  When I got married in 1998 my understanding of romance was pretty simple.  But, as time went by, I came to understand that romance is so much more than a candlelight dinner and that many of the romance myths I thought were true had no credibility in my marriage.   

myth #1

Romance Fades Away With Each Passing Year 

Getting married does not make romance permanent.  Sad but true. But, this doesn't mean that a marriage is doomed to have no romance.  Love and romance is a wonderful and beautiful entity of marriage that has to be nurtured every day.  Taking the time to recognize opportunities for romance helps nurture your relationship and creates strong bonds within marriage.  I have found that romance is not always about sex, but it's always about love.  Always actively looking for ways to romance your spouse puts you in a state of mind that allows you too see love everywhere.  For example if the power went out due to a bad storm, one couple would see this as a great opportunity for some intimate fun.  Another couple may only see the inconveniences of the lights being out.  What couple are you and your spouse?  


myth #2

Expressing Romance With Candy and/or Flowers is an Oldie but Goodie Idea  

Now I am not saying that buying your spouse flowers or candy cannot be be considered "romantic" gifts.  They can definitely be that.  What I am saying is that it is not considered the best way to express romantic love.  Here's why.  Gifts like candy and flowers are what  can be considered easy and unoriginal.  For example, if a wife is celebrating Mother's Day, flowers would be nice (and unoriginal) for a gift from her husband but the new book from her most favorite author(and time to enjoy reading it) might be appreciated more.  


myth #3

Children Take All the Romance & Sex Out of Marriage

Let's be honest.  Who has time for romance and sex after running after your little kids all day?  I get it.  My husband and I are the proud parents of seven children.  Our children are all grown now, but I remember how challenging it was for my husband and I to make time for romantic moments including sex.  But, however challenging, we made it a priority.   We didn't want to lose our love connection while trying to be good parents.   

Ideas for romance for married couples with children 

  1.  After the kids go to sleep, spend time together with your spouse.  
  2.  Find a qualified babysitter that you and your spouse can rely on.  
  3. Go walking together.  If you have a small child this is a great way to entertain them, while giving you and your spouse time for a little reconnecting. 
  4.  Schedule Date Nights 
  5. Give each other back massages.  Have fun with it!  
  6. Cook Together.  This is a great way to open communication lines for busy couples. 
  7.  Listen to each other.  With kids it's easy for us to focus all of our attention on them but its important for husband and wife to still find ways to connect.  
  8. Exercise.  Working out allows for better energy levels for you and your spouse.  With children you are going to need it.  
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myth #4

The Best Way to Show Romance With Your Spouse Requires Time and Preparation

Making time for romance on a daily basis, may seem overwhelming to some couples.  After all, there are things like raising children, careers and other responsibilities that makes it difficult for romance to blossom.  The key is to remember that every day romance is not about getting dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant but about staying mindful of your spouse and keeping the fire alive in your marriage.  In other words, keeping your eye on the prize.  Below, are a few ideas that don't require a lot of time or preparation but has lasting effects for you and your spouse.  

  1. Flirt with your spouse - Make a sexual innuendo to your spouse that will put it front and center exactly how you are thinking about him/her.  

  2. Give your spouse a compliment - In marriage, it is so important to focus on the positive and good things that your spouse brings to the table and verbalize it.  

  3. Do a chore - Doing a chore that your spouse normally does can open the door for romantic feelings to blossom.   Gratitude has a wonderful way of leading the way for romance.



myth #5

Valentine's Day is the Most Romantic Day of the Year

The truth?  Happily married couples celebrate their love every. single. day.  They don't wait around for a day that was deemed to be a romantic one.  They make their own Valentine's Day whenever they want.  Just because they can.  No other reason needed.