Are You Having Fun In Your Marriage?

Having fun together.  Something that sounds so simple but plays such a huge part in happy marriages.  It's something that most couples spend a lot of time doing in the beginning (dating) phase of their relationships.  As time goes by and wedding vows are spoken , life has the ability to give excuses for putting fun on the back-burner. Statements like, "No, I can't make it for that, I have to work late again", "I am so exhausted from work, lets make plans for another time"  or even "We don't have extra money to plan anything together"  are all ways that couples successfully push away fun times ( ex. date night) with their spouses.   So how do couples keep the fun times alive in their marriage?

They Make Having Fun A Priority

These couples enjoy spending fun times with each other, so they make it a priority to enjoy activities (like Date Night) together as often as possible.  In fact, studies have shown that marriages are more happier when time is taken to play and have fun together. 

"The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time," says Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the Center for Marital and Family Studies in Denver, Colorado. 

They Are Opened To Trying New Things

This reminds me of a scene from the movie, "Date Night" that stars Tina Fey and Steve Carrell as a married couple.  In the beginning of the movie, the couple goes out for date night to a restaurant they always go to and they order the same food.  Their date night wasn't bad and but it had become a boring routine.  A boring routine is what couples who enjoy having fun try to avoid at all costs.  So they try new ways to have a good time.  In fact, some couples chooses a different activity for every date night.  

They Share A Friendship

Sharing a friendship with your spouse is a key asset to having a successful marriage.  According to Dr. Gottman's Sound Relationship House Theory, a deep friendship is at the root of commitment and trust. 

Dr. Gottman also states, "That couples with deep friendships have mutual respect and enjoyment of each others company.  They tend to know each other intimately - they are well versed in each others likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes and dreams.  They have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but in little ways day in and day out."    

They Dream Together

Dreaming together is a great asset in marriages.  I say this because when you and your spouse speak about your dreams together it gives purpose to the every day actions of the both of you.  It allows the both of you to be cheerleader's for each other and it creates a strong intimacy level that is always good for marriage.  

They Budget For Fun

Just like some couples put aside money in the bank for paying bills, well fun loving couples do the same by putting aside money for activities to participate in.  I call it an investment for happy life.  But, remember having fun with your spouse doesn't mean that extra money has to be spent.   A few ideas for free fun activities are:

  • Movie night at home
  • Strip Chess or Scrabble
  • Free classes at your local community center
  • Go to the Park and enjoy nature walks and/or duck feeding
  • Build a fort with blankets and let your imagination go
  • Find a new recipe and cook the dish together
  • Play Sexy Truth or Dare. 

They Tap Into Their Inner Child

Responsibilities are a never ending story for adults.  It's what we have to do.  So when you can find time to let go and be silly, I say go for it!  I have found that tapping into my inner child allows me to let loose stress, it boosts my creativity levels and it makes me happy! For example, when I was a kid I was HUGE fan of the television show MacGyver.  The ability to put something together from nothing was MacGyver's specialty and I loved it!  Watching MacGyver makes me feel like a kid again and it makes me carefree like a child.  So after I finish watching an episode it makes me want to be silly and funny...just like when I was a child.