5 SINNS of Romance That Married Couples Should Never Commit
Romance is a word that many people have debated for years over its meaning. Some believe that romance is an important aspect in dating, some believe that romance is all about sex and some believe that romance cannot live without love. You know what I believe? I believe that romance is Recognizing Opportunities & Maintaining Affections Necessary for Creating Ever-lasting love. Take a look at my blog post What Is Romance? to read more about it.
There are things however that can cause you and your spouse to neglect the opportunities for marriage growth, making it impossible to maintain affections necessary for creating ever-lasting love. I call these factors the S.I.N.N.S. of Romance.
Marriage cannot always be about one person. Marriage requires togetherness and togetherness requires generosity. Selfishness however will not let generosity grow. Like how the winter takes away the luster of beautiful green lawns and trees, Selfishness slowly takes away the luster of giving to your spouse. Romance doesn’t have a chance when one or both parties in marriage are always concerned about their own feelings and how everything affects them, which in turn never allows them to think about the needs of their spouse.
We see it everywhere. On television, in movies, in magazines, even around us we have witnessed a marriage fall apart because of infidelity. Infidelity shakes the foundation of love in marriage, which makes it impossible for intimacy and romance to survive.
A good and solid marriage requires time for nourishment. Every day is an opportunity to make your marriage a fantastic one. However, when opportunities are not taken, romance is avoided and no concern is given to it. This is a fast track to discord in marriage. Mignon McLaughlin quoted, "A Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." I 100% agree with this but in order to fall in love many times with your spouse, you have to spend quality time with your spouse. Quality time that involves open lines of communication, appreciation of each other, laughing together and becoming the best of friends.
Hearing the constant banter of nagging is no way an effective form of communication. It is difficult to listen to, unattractive to see, making sex less desirable and separation more desirable. Always complaining, scolding or constantly finding fault is an easy way for your marriage to start feeling like a prison to your spouse. I believe that good communication requires:
When communication between you and your spouse lacks these four things it opens your marriage up to hurt and degradation. Nagging is definitely an example of this form of communication and should be avoided at all times.
Using words to cut or cause pain is a cruel way to communicate how you feel to your spouse and a horrible example for your children to see and hear. Now I am not talking about playful banter that may exist between you and your spouse, but I am talking about sarcastic words that are said to inflict pain. This type of communication has the ability to bring hurt to your spouse, create emotional detachment, and diminish intimacy that romance needs to survive.
So we’ve had an opportunity to talk a little about recognizing opportunities and maintaining affections necessary for creating ever-lasting love, (Romance). We’ve also talked about what makes romance fail. I have found that being romantic in marriage is putting into action what your spouse means to you. It reaffirms your feelings towards your spouse therefore strengthening the connection of your marriage. Strengthening the connection of your marriage every day is a sure fire way to avoid those ugly S.I.N.N.S. of romance.
And as always my fellow couples,
Keep It Hot!