Romance is a word that many people have debated for years over its meaning.  Some believe that romance is an important aspect in dating, some believe that romance is all about sex and some believe that romance cannot live without love.  You know what I believe?  I believe that romance is Recognizing Opportunities & Maintaining Affections Necessary for Creating Ever-lasting love.  Take a look at my blog post What Is Romance? to read more about.

There are things however that can cause you and your spouse to neglect the opportunities for marriage growth, making it impossible to maintain affections necessary for creating ever-lasting love.  I call these factors the S.I.N.N.S. of Romance. 

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Selfishness

Marriage requires togetherness and togetherness requires generosity. Selfishness however will not let generosity grow.  Like how the winter takes away the luster of beautiful green lawns and trees, Selfishness slowly takes away the luster of giving to your spouse.  Romance doesn’t have a chance when one or both parties in marriage are always concerned about their own feelings and how everything affects them, which in turn never allows them to think about the needs of their spouse.

Infidelity

We see it everywhere.  On television, in movies, in magazines, even around us we have witnessed a marriage fall apart because of infidelity.   Infidelity shakes the foundation of love in marriage, which makes it impossible for romance to survive. 

Neglect

A good and solid marriage requires time for nourishment.  Every day is an opportunity to make your marriage a fantastic one.  However, when opportunities are not taken, romance is avoided and no concern is given to it.  This is a fast track to discord in marriage.

Nagging

Hearing the constant banter of nagging is no way an effective form of communication. It is difficult to listen to, unattractive to see, making sex less desirable and separation more desirable. Always complaining, scolding or constantly finding fault is an easy way for your marriage to start feeling like a prison to your spouse. 

Sarcasm

Using words to cut or cause pain is a cruel way to communicate how you feel to your spouse and a horrible example for your children to see and hear. Now I am not talking about playful banter that may exist between you and your spouse, but I am talking about sarcastic words that are said to inflict pain. Causing hurt to your spouse, diminishes intimacy that romance needs to survive. 

So we’ve had an opportunity to talk a little about recognizing opportunities and maintaining affections necessary for creating ever-lasting love, (Romance).  We’ve also talked about what makes romance it fail.  I have found that being romantic in marriage is putting into action what your spouse means to you. It reaffirms your feelings towards your spouse therefore strengthening the connection of your marriage.  Strengthening the connection of your marriage every day is a sure fire way to avoid those ugly S.I.N.N.S. of romance. 

And as always my fellow couples,

Keep It Hot!


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