My husband and I are celebrating 17 years of marriage this year and I am so grateful for our years together. Through the good times and through the bad, my marriage has shown me the real power of love. Absolutely no doubt about it! My husband and I have also seen the importance of having passion, positivity and perseverance or what I like to call them, the 3 Awesome P's of Marriage.
The day that I said, "I do" was one of the most life altering experiences of my life. I was excited about our love and making a future together. These strong and compelling feelings that were experienced on my wedding day have never been forgotten or put away for old memories. So how do married couples keep the passion fired? Well, it's a multiple of things that would time and effort, could make your marriage the one you and your spouse desire. They are:
- Actively date each other. Dating never needs to stop after marriage. In fact, in marriage the dating should stay constant and true.
- Talk open and often with each other. When you are both comfortable with each other and are able to share your thoughts and dreams together it creates a security blanket of trust, which is a key ingredient for keeping the passion for each other.
- Flirt with each other. Flirting can create those feelings of desire and sexual anticipation that make both of you feel good.
- Give focus to each other's whole bodies when having sex. Now this might not be something that can be done every single time, but it should be done more than once a year for a anniversary.
- Stay committed. Avoid unnecessary distractions that can hinder the success of your marriage.
- Consider "eyes open sex". according to David Schnarch, director of the Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colo. and author of Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships, seventy percent of couples have sex with their eyes closed with only 15% of couples keeping their eyes open. What that means, he says, is that "most of us tune out our partner at a time that is supposed to be the most intimate." When put like that, I believe that married couples could consider this an option for more passionate lovemaking.
I have been a witness over the years to a marriage were one person always tried to look at the positive side and another saw doom coming around every corner. Needless to say, that marriage did not succeed. But, when you really think about it, how could it? Taking a positive outlook on life is the only choice for many happily married couples, including my relationship with my husband. Negativity has never done my marriage any good and more importantly it promotes a lack of faith in God. Three benefits to positivity in your marriage are:
- Creates a positive and loving environment for the both of you and everyone around you
- Positive people tend to handle stressful situations and make better decisions during critical times (according to Heartmath.org)
- It helps eliminates stress. I find it very hard to be thankful and stressed at the same time.
No matter how we try to plan for things, things do not always work out the way we want them to. When dealing with difficult situations, it's so important to stand together constant and committed in marriage; never giving up. My marriage has seen many trials and tribulations but what helped us both to healing recovery was that we had each other. We've struggled together, we've loss together but through God's assistance we are ecstatically happy together.