In your relationship with your spouse you will find or have already found that compromise is a very important asset to the success of your marriage. Lets be real with each other, you and your spouse are not going to see eye to eye on everything. That is human nature. It is how you handle those differences that will either weaken or strengthen the bonds of your marriage.
My husband and I are very different but yet uniquely the same. We have the same sense of humor. It's rare that we are not laughing at something together. With one look we can have each other on the floor laughing. Honestly, we are a very silly couple!
We do run into differences with our personalities. He is the calm and mellow one in the relationship, where I am more of what you call a “firecracker". With our different personalities, we can not possibly agree with each other on everything and we both know that.
So by knowing that differences can and will occur, we have the responsibility to put into play, a strategy that encourage fairness and compromise. We have learned to compromise without compromising the integrity, faith, and morals of each other. My husband and I call it Good Compromise.
What is Good Compromise? Good compromise is where you and your spouse feel good about the outcome of your differences. You both walked away getting something you both wanted. One of our biggest compromises was at the beginning of our marriage when my husband and I bought our first house.
My husband wanted to be involved in every room that was being decorated and furnished. At first it seemed really sweet but then later it got kind of stressful. Let me tell you why. He wanted input on everything that was needed for the house. I mean everything! I wasn't used to that. For years I had been decorating my own places and now here I was decorating with someone who cared about every little detail like me.
At first, when we went shopping, we seemed to have the same taste in everything we saw. Later on our differences began to show. Once those differences started showing, things got a little tense. My husband must have noticed how tense I was looking one day at Garden Ridge because the next thing I know he's saying, " Well it's really up to you, you make the final decision."
When I looked in his eyes I knew that he said that because he didn't want me upset or bothered. I really appreciated that.
I then let go of all the tense feelings that I had been feeling and worked on coming up with a compromise where we both would be happy. We talked a little about what we both envisioned for the rooms in the house. We talked about what we just had to have and what we could both live without. We talked about colors, paints, floors, doors, etc. We then decided to compromise by splitting up the decorating and furnishings by room. This allowed both of us to run with our creativity without stepping on each others toes.
Below I have listed the 3 Be’s of Good Compromise that my husband and I have found helpful when settling differences in marriage. As Always, Keep it Hot!
Be Open to More Than One View
Understand that life is more than the view from your eyes. You have to be willing to step into your spouse's shoes to understand his/her point of view. No two people are exactly the same!
Be Respectful of Spouse's View
Disagreements or differences are no excuse for lack of respect to your spouse. In fact once disrespectful communication begins, compromise is thrown out the window. Avoid that happening by effectively communicating with your spouse by listening free from judgement and being sensitive to your spouse's feelings.
Be Prepared to Give a Little
Both of you have to give a little to get something BIG. When you both decide to give a little it strengthens your relationship by:
- Encouraging deep love and togetherness.
- Creating a sense of fairness between the both of you
- Preventing arguments or disagreements from getting ugly
Go Team Compromise!
More To Consider: