If you've watched a football or basketball game you know that one of the key aspects for a team to win a game is to have a strong defensive plan against the opponents. The same could be said for marriage. Having strong defense in your marriage puts you in a protective state of mind towards your spouse and pushes back on anything (the opponents) that is harmful or hurtful towards your spouse.
Below, I've listed 10 marriage defensive moves that I have found to be a great asset to the foundation and dedication of my marriage. So suit up, keep your head in the game and Go Team Go!
1. Love God First
When you are truly in love with bending your will to God's, it eliminates the desires to the do anything that will degrade your marriage and family.
2. Avoid Talking Negatively About Your Spouse To Others
The words that we speak hold so much power. It can either be effective in a positive way or a negative way. Putting down your spouse to others creates a negative wall in your marriage that with time can fester into much bigger problems.
3. Recognize Boundaries Of Marriage On Social Networks
Communicating on Facebook, Twitter or any other social network with the opposite sex that you had a past relationship with can allow temptation to settle in your mind and heart. It can allow you to look back when you should only be looking forward with your spouse.
4. Reserve Flirting For Your Spouse, No One Else
Flirting with someone who is not your spouse sometimes can seem innocent, but it has ramifications. It can make your spouse feel disrespected, devalued, and unappreciated.
5. Don't Compare Your Marriage To Others
Every marriage is different. Comparing your marriage to others can rob you of the joy that you have in your marriage. It can even make you look for problems in your marriage that are not even there.
6. Date Your Spouse Regularly
Dating should never stop because your are married. Marriage is the number one reason to constantly date your spouse! You and your spouse have a beautiful journey that you are going to share together and dating allows the romance to stay active and it incorporates closeness in your marriage.
7. Set Aside Quality Time Every Day For You And Your Spouse
Strong marriages are worked on every day. Talking and spending time every day with each other creates strong intimacy that makes you and your spouse the best of friends.
8. Kiss Each Other Before Going To Work And Returning Home From Work
It has been said that people who kiss their spouse's every day before work live 5 years longer than spouse's that just walk out the door. I can see why this is said. Kissing your spouse every morning before he/she leaves for work and when he/she returns makes you feel connected deeply in a way that soothes both of your hearts in a positive way. It makes for a great start and end of the day ritual!
9. Never Fall In Love With Money And Social Status
The love of money is corruption pure and simple. From experience I have found that chasing dollars gives you little time to focus on the things that money cannot buy. Being excessively concerned about the acquisition of money, social status and material things opens the door to being spend thrifty and closes the door to humbleness.
10. Don't Let Resentment Come In
Resentment is the experience of negative emotion such as anger or hatred towards someone. A marriage cannot be successful if you and your spouse have these type of feelings toward each other. If you feel wronged by your spouse communicate this with him/her. Consider other avenues such as Marriage Counseling if you and your spouse are unable to communicate and resolve in an effective manner. A quote that I absolutely love and have applied to my marriage is by Ruth Bell Graham that states, "A Happy Marriage is a union of two good forgivers." Forgiveness destroys resentment!
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